How to Talk to a Hesitant Spouse about Estate Planning
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to feel ready to tackle estate planning while the other hesitates. Maybe your spouse isn’t sure they need a plan, or perhaps they’re uncomfortable with the idea of meeting with an attorney. Whatever the reason, this difference in perspective can make it hard to move forward. If you’re facing this challenge, here are some ways to approach the conversation and work together to create a plan for your future.
- Understand What’s Holding Them Back
Start by asking your spouse why they feel hesitant. Are they worried it will be too expensive or time-consuming? Do they think you don’t need a plan because you don’t have a large estate? Or is it just the discomfort of talking about “what ifs”? By understanding their concerns, you can address them directly and show them that estate planning doesn’t have to be as daunting as it seems.
- Explain Why It’s Important
Sometimes it helps to shift the focus from abstract ideas to real-life outcomes. Explain how having an estate plan can protect your family from unnecessary stress, make sure your wishes are carried out, and prevent legal battles or confusion if something unexpected happens. You can also point out that creating a plan doesn’t mean you expect the worst—it’s about being prepared and taking control of your future.
- Offer to Handle the Logistics
If your spouse is overwhelmed by the idea of finding an attorney or organizing documents, take the lead on those steps. Research estate planning attorneys, schedule an initial consultation, and gather any preliminary information you’ll need. Let your spouse know you’re willing to handle the details—they just need to show up.
- Suggest a No-Pressure Meeting
Sometimes the thought of meeting with an attorney feels intimidating. Reassure your spouse that the first meeting is just a conversation—there’s no obligation to make decisions right away. Many attorneys will walk you through the basics and answer questions without any pressure to commit.
- Focus on Your Shared Goals
Estate planning isn’t about one spouse getting their way—it’s about creating a plan that reflects your shared values and protects your family. Emphasize that this is a team effort and that their input is vital to making sure the plan works for both of you.
- Be Patient, but Keep the Conversation Going
It might take some time for your spouse to warm up to the idea, and that’s okay. Gently revisit the topic when the opportunity arises, and share new information that might ease their concerns. Remember, persistence is key, but it doesn’t have to feel like pressure.
- Talk About the Risks of Waiting
Sometimes it’s helpful to point out that waiting to create an estate plan can create more stress later. Life is unpredictable, and having a plan in place ensures that you’re prepared no matter what. Without a plan, the courts may make decisions on your behalf, which can lead to unnecessary complications.
If you’re ready to explore your options, our experienced team at Wills, Trusts, Probate & Elder Law Firm, PLLC is here to help. We specialize in making estate planning approachable and tailored to your needs. Contact us at 941-914-9145 or complete our online form today to schedule a no-pressure consultation and learn how we can help you get started.
